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Horse Riddles


Q: What did the dude say after his first horseback ride?
A:  I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard!


Q: Why was the crazy racehorse so upset?
A:  He was saddled with a lot of problems.


Q: Why did the farmer's horse go over the mountain?
A:  He couldn't go under it.


Q: What would you put on a horse that was going out at night?
A:  A satellite


Q: If a king sits on gold, who sits on silver?
A:  The Lone Ranger
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What is a horse's favorite type of trail?
A:  A Bridle path.
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What is the best way to mount a horse?
A:  How should I know, I'm no taxidermist!


Q: How do you catch a unique horse? Unique up on it!
A:  How do you catch a tame horse? Tame way, unique up on it!


Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A:  When he turns into a barn.


Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A:  A horse of course!
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What is a horse's favorite TV show?
A:  Mr. Ed.
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What is a horse's favorite football team?
A:  The Colts.
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What is a horse's favorite part of the ear?
A:  The stirrup.
                                                                           
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A:  A horse!
                                                                            
           Contributed by Ashley Lynne


Q: What happened to the blonde polo player?
A: Her horse drowned.
                                                                     Contributed by Rachael Strain


Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A:  Ask the rider.


Q: How are an eqq and a horse alike?
A:  They must be broken before using.


Q: What does every horse and rider do at the same time?
A:  Grow older.


Q: When is a horse most likely to go into a trailer?
A:  When the gate is open.


Q: What do you do with a blue horse?
A:  Cheer him up.


Q: Why does a horse eat grass?
A:  Stakes are too tough.


Q: Why didn't the nitwit use hair oil before the big riding test?
A:  He didn't want anything to slip his mind.


Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A:  Gross!


Q: Can anyone tell me what it means if we find a horseshoe?
A:  That a horse is walking around in it's socks?


Q: What do you call a clean Appaloosa?
A:  Spotless.
                                                                              
           Contributed by J. Buchanan


Q: What has two arms, 2 wings, 2 tails, 3 heads, 3 bodies and 8 legs?
A:  A man on a horse holding a chicken!


Q: Why don't horses finish college?
A:  Because they don't finish high school.


Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A:  It was the chicken's day off!


Q: Why did the dirty horse cross the road a second time?
A:  He was a dirty double crosser.


Q: There were 9 horses on a trailor.  It turned over.  How many were left?
A:  6.


Q: What horses have the smallest feet?
A: The smallest horses.


Q: How do you know there's a horse in your bed?
A:  You can smell the hay on his breath.


Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A:  Until they get it right.


Q: When can a horse go exactly as fast as a train?
A:  When it's on the train.


Q: What has four legs and can see just as well from either end?
A:  A horse with its eyes closed.


Q: Why did the silly horse take a ruler to bed?
A:  So he could see how long he slept.


Q: What does a horse become after it's tenth birthday?
A:  11 years old!


Q: What is hairy, has two thousand eyes and east grass?
A:  One thousand horses.


Q: Why did the horse vet pour oil on his hands before operating?
A:  He wanted be make sure he had smooth operations.


Q: What happens when a black horse jumps into the Red Sea?
A:  It gets wet.


Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with the house next door?
A:  A nei-ei-ghbor


Q: What did the hose say when he reached the end of his nosebag?
A:  "That's the last straw!"


Q: How much do you have to know to teach a horse tricks?
A:  More than the horse.


Q: How does a horse get down from a tree?
A:  It sits on a leaf and waits for the fall.


Q: What do you know when you see three horses walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats.
A:  You know you need a psychiatrist.


Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weigh anything?
A:  A horse's shadow.


Q: How long should a horse's legs be?
A:  Long enough to reach the ground.


Q: What's the easiest way to be a race horse in South America?
A:  Be born there!


Q: What's a camel?
A:  A horse designed by economists.


Q: How do you make a horse float?
A:  Place two scoops of ice cream in root beer -- and add one horse.


Q: When's the best day to drink that horse float?
A:  Sundae.


Q: If you horse's nose runs and it's feet smell, what's the matter with it?
A:  It was made upside down.


Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A:  When it turns into a pasture


Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A:  A tale of WHOA!!!


Q: When do horses wear green overalls?
A:  When their blue ones are in the the laundry.


Q: Who is a horse like a plum?
A:  They're both purple, except for the the horse.


Q: When is a pistol like a young colt?
A:  When it is a Colt.


Q: Why did horses dislike Theodore Roosevelt?
A:  Because he was a Rough Rider.


Q: What always follows a horse?
A:  Its tail.


Q: How did the horse dig a hole?
A:  Bit by bit.


Q: Why did the horse put on the blanket?
A:  He was a little colt.


Q: Where do horses stay in a hotel?
A:  In the Bridle Suite.


Q: Why did the horse go to the doctor?
A:  For hay fever.


Q: What were the horses doing at the theater?
A:  Order stalls for Saturday night.


Q: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bucking horse?
A:  The ground.


Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weight anything?
A:  A horse's shadow.


Q: What is the difference between a train engineer and a race horse.
A:  One is trained to run, the other runs a train.


Q: Why is it hard to recognize horses from the back?
A:  Because they're always switching their tails.


Q: What is the difference between a tired old horse and a dead insect?
A:  One is a seedy beast and the other is a bee deceased.


Q: What is another name for stable thinking?
A:  Horse sense.


Q: What smells good and rides a white horse?
A:  The Cologne Ranger.


Q: How did the rodeo horse get so rich?
A:  He had a lot of bucks


Q: What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?
A:  A hobby horse
.


Q: What's a nightmare?
A:  A horse that keeps late hours.


Q: Why do horses live in barns?
A:  Because they are too big for birdhouses.


Q: Which part of a horse is the most important?
A:  The mane part.


Q: What happened when the the horse suddenly saw a dollar bill?
A:  He bucked.


Q: What is black and white and turns cartwheels?
A:  A black and white horse pulling a cart.


Q: What do they do with a cowboy whose voice is really hoarse?
A:  They put a saddle on it.


Q: What kind of horse comes from Pennsylvania?
A:  A Philly.


Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A:  Until they get it right.


Q: When the big horse feel into a 30 foot well, how did it come out
A:  Wet.


Q: What sport makes you go horse ?
A:  Stable tennis


Q: What does a polite vet say when he is about to operate on a horse?
A:  May I cut in?


Q: Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A:  Because he thought he might get a kick out of it!


Q: What did the horse say to the pig?
A:  You are just a boar.


Q: What is the difference between a tailor and a horse trainer?
A:  One mends a tear, the other tends a mare.


Q: Why was the little horse unhappy?
A:  Because every time it wanted something, it's mother would say, "Neigh!".


Q: What has six legs, but walks with only four?
A:  A horse with a rider.


Q: What's a Zebra?
A:  A horse with venetian blinds.


Q: What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A:  One goes quick and the other goes quack.


Q: What's a dark horse?
A: A nightmare.


Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
A:  Because the horse was too heavy to carry!


Q: Why was the horse all charged up?
A:  Because it ate haywire.


Q: Why doesn't it cost much to feed a horse?
A:  Because a horse eats best when it doesn't have a bit in its mouth.


Q: A duck and a horse went out for dinner. Who paid? 
A:  The duck because he had the bill.


Q: Why are horses lousy dancers?
A:  They have two left feet.


Q: What do you get when a horse walks under a cloud?
A:  A horse that's under the weather!


Q: What is the difference between a horse and weather?
A:  One is reined up, the other reins down.


Q: What is the fastest way to ship young horses?
A:  By Pony Express!


Q: Why is a drama teacher like the Pony Express?
A:  Because he is a stage coach.


Q: What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
A: All breeds. Houses don't jump!


Q: How many legs does a horse have if you call it's tail a leg?
A:  Only Four.  (Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it one.)


Q: What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?
A:  A horse, of course


Q: Why aren't horses well dressed?
A:  Because they wear shoes and no socks.


Q: Which has more legs, a horse or no horse?
A:  No horse.  A horse has four legs, but no horse has 6 legs.


Q: How do you hire a horse?
A:  Put a brick under each hoof!


Q: When is it proper to got to bed with your shoes on?
A:  When you are a horse.


Q: Why did the horse take a slice of hay to bed?
A: To feed his nightmares!!!


Q: What do you call it when you pass a tail, ears, mane and legs?
A:  A horse.


Q: How do you say goodbye to a horse?
A:  Say, "I've gotta whoa now!"


Q: Why do horses go on strike?
A:  To get more horsepower.


Q: Why did the horse go behind the tree?
A:  To change his jockeys.


Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A:  Cough stirrup.


Q: How can you make a slow horse fast?
A:  Don't give him any food. 


Q: What moves when sat on?
A:  A horse.


Q: What part of the horse has the most hair?
A:  The outside!!!


Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A:  A little hoarse.


Q: Why is a horse with a sore throat twice as sick as any other animal?
A:  Because it is a hoarse horse.


Q: What happens to old horses?
A:  They become nags.


Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A:  The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.


Q: What animal has more "hands" than feet?
A:  Why, a horse, of course!


Q: What do you give a horse with diarrhea?
A:   Lots of room.


Q: How is a pig like a horse?
A:  When a pig is hungry he eats like a horse, and when a horse is hungry he eats like a pig.


Q: What moves when sat on?
A:  A Horse.


Q: How do you get down from a horse?
A:  You don't get down from a horse, you get down from a goose!


Q: Where do you find a horse with no legs?
A:  Right where you left him.


Q: What do you you call a horse with no legs?
A:  Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway.


Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with a Zebra?
A:  A horse that is very confused.


Q: What goes to horse races and bets and takes care of sick animals? 
A:  A betinarian!


Q: What might happen if you walked under a horse?
A:  You could get a pat on the head.


Q: How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A:  The horses seem very relieved.


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