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Murphy's Horse and Mule Laws
1. If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck will break down.
2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
3. No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
4. The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks, and need the vet at least once a month.
5. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
6. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be destroyed; horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
7. Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.
8. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you did. If you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.
9. One horse isn't enough; two is too many.
10. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes," you will get dirty.
11. You can't push a horse on a lunge line.
12. If a horse is advertised as "under $5000" you can bet he isn't $2500.
13. The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls in your barn.
14. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
15. You can't run a barn without bailing twine.
16. Hoof picks migrate.
17. Wind velocity increases in proportion to how well your hat fits.
18. There is no such thing as the "right feed."
19. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
20. If you're winning, quit.
Contributed by Carter Bass, Virginia
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