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Funny Ways To Order Pizza

Funny ways to order a pizza

• If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
• Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
• Use CB lingo where applicable.
• Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
• Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
• Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
• Answer their questions with questions.
• Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN, and PUCE.
• Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
• Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.
• Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
• Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
• Stutter on the letter "p."
• Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
• Ask what the order taker is wearing.
• Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
• Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
• Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
• Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
• Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
• Change your accent every three seconds.
• Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
• Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
• Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."
• If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
• Rent a pizza.
• Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
• Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
• Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
• Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
• Say, "Are you sure this is Pizza Place? When they say yes, say, "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, Pizza Place, start t cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
• Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
• Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
• Eliminate verbs from your speech.
• Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
• Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
• Ask to see a menu.
• Quote Carl Sandberg.
• Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
• Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
• Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
• Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
• Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
• Shout, "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
• Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
• Psychoanalyze the order taker.
• Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
• Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
• Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
• Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"
• Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
• When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
• Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
• State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
• 74.Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
• 76.Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
• 77.Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade
• Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
• Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
• When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
• Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
• While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
• Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
• Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
• Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
• Order a steamed pizza.

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